I recently read an fantastic book, A Tribe Called Bliss, by Lori Harder, and it really got me thinking.
Our tribes (aka families and friendships) are so important in our lives. They love us, support us, and make us feel connected.
But what if our Tribes are actually holding us back from making true change?
How is this possible if they love and care for us?
Well, the truth is that often our tribes revolve around certain rituals and beliefs, that are deeply engrained and are often the basis of the connection among all the members.
It’s hard to think past those rituals and beliefs because they have been followed by its members for so long. It’s almost like an unwritten pact between its members to maintain order; eat certain foods, do certain things and have certain habits.
Our ideal tribe should lift us up, support us, hold us accountable and but also offer tough love when needed.
Now consider some of these scenarios and ask yourself what would happen:
If you stopped joining your friends for beer and nachos every Thursday and went to the gym instead?
If you started exercising Saturday morning instead of joining your friends for coffee and pastries?
If you told your family that you were choosing to no longer eat dessert because you were cutting sugar?
If you started passing on unhealthy meals at restaurants and ordering something healthier?
If you told your bestie that you no longer want to drink every night after work and vent about the jobs you hate and your horrible bosses?
Would your relationships with these people change? Would they be able to sustain you changing? Would you still have enough in common? Would they understand if you told them you wanted change?
This is a true test of your relationships, will they last through the changes and even be inspired by yours? Or will they quickly fade because you no longer have much in common?
Whatever the case, we need to be brave in our journey to change, because change is never easy…but the one thing it is is beautiful and so worth while!
I’m not saying ditch your friends and family, simply to consider what would happen if you were honest about your new goals and whether or not they would be supportive. Support is ultimately what keeps us accountable and motivated to succeed, and if you are getting the opposite from your tribe then you need to find a new form of support, otherwise you will soon find yourself back to your old habits.
Remember that when you release yourself from anything that no longer serves you then you make room for new and amazing things!
Much love,
Daniela Nahas
Certified Health Coach
CHEK Holistic Lifestyle Coach
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